Time : 2021-03-07 11:26:18
Điểm: 8/10
In the past few years, we have witnessed a significant rise in dangerous extreme sports, such as rock climbing and sky-diving. Some people are of the opinion that they should be banned for the sake of man's health. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement to a certain extent.

To begin with, while I do not support an outright ban, I do think that the government must bear responsibility for regulating these sports so that they are played under supreme supervision. It goes without saying that such dangerous extreme sports result in injuries or even deaths. Nevertheless, banning them is not an exact solution. Instead, the government ought to ensure that the centres or companies providing rock climbers and sky-divers with facilities have to fulfil the legal safety standards. Additionally, those sportsmen must have expertise in these sports by means of enrolling on courses and having sufficient trainings, so that they could minimize the risks.

What's more, there may be some demerits for nations that ban these sports. Considering that rock climbing and sky-diving have been played on a global scale, there are many international competitions. Accordingly, those who excel in these sports may win, break records then bring name and fame to their country.

In a nutshell, there are both risks and merits that each individual and country can obtain from these dangerous extreme sports. Those sportsmen must go through adequate trainings and courses before practising them, and banning these sports is not the best solution.

Nhận xét của giáo viên :

In the past few years, we have witnessed a significant rise in dangerous extreme sports, such as rock climbing and sky-diving. Some people are of the opinion that they should be banned for the sake of man's health. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement to a certain extent.

To begin with, while I do not support an outright ban, I do think that the government must bear take responsibility for regulating these sports so that they are played under supreme supervision. It goes without saying that such dangerous extreme sports result in injuries or even deaths. Nevertheless, banning them is not an exact solution. Instead, the government ought to ensure that the centres or companies providing rock climbers and sky-divers with facilities have to fulfil the legal safety standards. Additionally, those sportsmen must have expertise in these sports by means of enrolling on courses and having sufficient trainings, so that they could minimize the risks.

What's more, there may be some demerits for nations that ban these sports. Considering that rock climbing and sky-diving have been played on a global scale, there are many international competitions bạn diễn đạt chưa rõ ràng ý này, chỉ rút gọn mệnh đề khi 2 vế cùng chủ ngữ. Accordingly, those who excel in these sports may win, break records then bring name and fame to their country.

In a nutshell, there are both risks and merits that each individual and country can obtain from these dangerous extreme sports. Those sportsmen must go through adequate trainings and courses before practising them, and banning these sports is not the best solution.

Bài viết của bạn tương đối ổn, diễn đạt và cấu trúc câu khá đa dạng. Tuy nhiên, có 1 số ý bạn nên lưu ý nhé.

Điểm: 8.5